Does Santa Wrap Presents?

Joe and I have been discussing weather or not Santa wraps presents or not. When he was growing up all of the presents magically appeared under the tree. Everything was wrapped and labeled "from Santa". When I was growing up our presents from Santa magically appeared spread out on the sofa, unwrapped and clearly displayed for us to see. 

 The stockings stuffed with wrapped presents from Santa.

L to R: Joe, Jude, Noah, and Me

 Wrapped Presents from Santa were left on the TV Stand.

This year Santa wrapped everything, including the stuff in our stockings. But I'm not so sure Santa will be able to continue wrapping everything in the future.

Joe is pro Santa Wrapping and I'm pro non-Santa Wrapping.

Here is my reasoning....

1. Santa would obviously use different wrapping paper than Mom and Dad. 

2. For small children that can't read not wrapping the presents makes it clear that Santa visited while they were asleep.

3. Wrapping everything little thing takes A LONG TIME.

Of course all of this hinges on weather or not your children believe in Santa to begin with. 

When I was growing up the first time my parents told me about Santa (I was about 3 years old) I freaked out. The thought of some strange old man coming in my house while I was sleeping scared the crap out of me. I was convinced there was no way someone would break into my house to leave me gifts so my parents immediately told me it was all a game and Santa wasn't real. Now I wonder why I have trust issues! kidding... well only a little. 

I think for Jude we will talk about Santa but not make it a big deal. I thing he already has this thing figured out anyway, he is pretty smart. 

So back to the initial question. 

Does Santa Wrap Presents in your house?

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Striped Pajamas

I love special Christmas pajamas. When I was growing up we never really had dedicated pajamas to wear on Christmas but I think it might be a tradition we start with our kids.

Joe's mom bought these super cute striped pajamas for the boys. Jude calls them his candy cane pajamas. They wore them Christmas Even night to bed. 

Do your kids have special Christmas pajamas?

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Teaching Kids to Give: Random Acts of Zhu #RAZ2011

This holiday season I've really been focusing on teaching Jude what it means to give. We've participated in a few charitable acts as a family and I'm proud to say that Jude has really developed a giving spirit. So much so that at Christmas he wanted to keep giving people presents even after all of the gifts had been opened. He even wrapped up his dirty stocks for PaPop. Obviously, we still need to work on what makes a good gift but it's the thought that counts right? He is three anyway.

Last year I was honored to participate in the Zhu Zhu Pet's Random Acts of Zhu campaign. Last year we donated to the Raleigh Rescue Mission which helps all kinds of families in need throughout our city. This year, I want to help Jude connect with the charity we chose so after a bit of research and several recommendations I selected Zach's Toy Chest. Zach's Toy Chest is a small nonprofit organization created to benefit children of all ages receiving cancer treatments at local NC hospitals.I thought giving to other children would help him better connect with what we were doing any I think it worked. He was thrilled to be giving "toys for the boys a girls".

I had the privilege of meeting with Zach's Toy Chest founder, Holly who told me about the wonderful work they are doing with Duke Children's hospital as well as several other hospitals across the state of North Carolina. Zach’s Toy Chest was founded in 2008 by Holly Schwab, mom to Zach. Zach had neuroblastoma and went through four months of chemotherapy at the Day Hospital. Although impressed with the level of professionalism and empathy displayed by staff at the Day Hospital, Schwab noticed the lack of toys for the children to play with during treatment. Many had to bring their own toys from home and if they forgot to bring toys, they had nothing to do during the long days of treatment. 

 Jude helping load the Zhu Zhu pets into the van.

The mission of Zach’s Toy Chest is to raise enough donations to give every child a ‘something special’ while receiving treatment at all local hospitals. Zach is now a healthy toddler who has been cancer free since August 2008.  

Zach's Toy Chest is a small non-profit that is working hard to make the lives of children with sometimes life threatening illnesses just a little bit better. I am thrilled to know that the Zhu Zhu pets and accessories we donated will bring joy to the children at Duke Children's Hospital. Zach's Toy Chest received 25 boxes (96 items) of Zhu Zhu Pets on December 23, 2011.  They will all go to children receiving cancer treatments at Duke Children's Hospital in Durham, NC.

For more information about Zach's Toy Chest or how you can get involved visit their website, Facebook page or email Holly Schwab at zachstoychest@gmail.com

I received the feature products with the purpose of donating to the charity of my choice. The opinions expressed in this post are my own and not influenced by the company.

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Great Giveaway Links

Every Thursday The B Keeps Us Honest offers a place to promote your giveaways, Great Giveaway Links. Be sure to link directly to your giveaway and not your homepage. Links that are not directed to the giveaway will be deleted.

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Christmas Party Supplies from Party City

Every Christmas my family has a big family get-together where we celebrate Christmas by eating too much and exchanging gifts. You know just like everyone else in America. My family is pretty big so it's hard to have full place setting for everyone. We typically have some cobbled together, mismatched pieces of tableware and while it gets the job done it's not all that pretty.

Party City sent us the Very Merry Snowman Ultimate Party Kit. This set is great because it has enough place setting for my large family and is a lot of fun especially for kids. I really love the Foil Christmas Crackers and Christmas Cut Outs and of course the kids loved the candy filled pinata. But the best part is there are no dishes to wash after we eat. Everyone can sit back, relax and enjoy Christmas together.

Even though Christmas is right around the corner there is still time to order your party supplies with Party City's 2-day and Next Day shipping.

Party City also has a great selection of New Years party supplies which will help you throw the best shindig of the year!

I received the feature product, the opinions expressed in this post are my own and not influenced by the company.

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Noah Asher - Month Six

Six Months Old

That's half way to a year.

Seriously

A quick picture right before he fell over.

Noah is on the move. He can't crawl and can't even sit up that well yet but he'll steamroll right over anything or anyone to get what he wants. 

We take him for his check up right after the new year at which point I'll record his stats. But know this... he's big.

He is a chill and easy going baby but if there is something he wants he just dives for it. His dive list includes anything shiny like a glass, bottle, or iphone. I can't blame him I'd take a dive for some shiny stuff too. 

Although we haven't see any teeth yet I know he' s teething. I've felt a little bump and he is chewing on everything. He even has a rash on his chin from all the slobber.

He still sleeps with use and wakes us about twice during the night. I'd like to get him to sleep in his bed but this house is so cold at night. I've yet to find a way to keep him warm at night. (We've been using a sleep sack but he's still so cold.)

He's also discovered his tongue. 

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Grown-Up Mac n Cheese at Noodles & Co.

When winter rolls around I want comfort food and nothing is more comforting than macaroni and cheese. Noodles & Co offers seasonal Grown Up Mac that is sophisticated yet comforting. We recently visited our local Noodles & Co to try out these delicious flavors.

They have 3 gourmet Mac n Cheese selections Bacon, Mac and Cheeseburger, Chili Mac and Truffle Mac with Baby Portabellas. I think my personal favorite is the Chili Mac, it's the perfect combonation of my two favorite winter meals Chili and Macaroni and Cheese. Of course the Bacon, Mac and Cheeseburger is a pretty close second, I mean there's bacon in my macaroni and cheese! Joe love the Truffle Mac with Baby Portabellas, I didn't care for that one because I don't like mushrooms. And Jude, well, he liked all of them.

I love Noodles & Co because they always offer a well balanced meal and have something for everyone. I also really like that they offer organic milk for the kids. Jude loves to get chocolate milk when we are out and it makes me feel better giving him organic milk.

If you want to try the Grown Up Mac you better hurry because it's only for a limited time. (Ends Dec. 30th)

I received the feature product, the opinions expressed in this post are my own and not influenced by the company.

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smartecard Review

My family has been extremely sick for the past 2 weeks. First it was the boys with colds and general ickiness and then I had a cracked molar that require immediate attention and now both Joe and I have pink eye and I have strep throat. So to say I'm a little behind in my holiday preparations is an understatement. So when I finally had a few moments to sit down at the computer the first thing I did was create a quick holiday greeting to send to our family and friends using smartecard just to let them know we are all still alive and some-what well.

smartecards is a quick and easy way to send online greetings to your family and friends. smartecard is fairly easy to use. I think it it would be ideal especially for older generations. There are a limited number of very basic designs in which you just add your images, text and select your music and email your card to whomever you want to include in your address book. It's pretty straightforward.

smartecard is probably not going to appeal to those that are looking for stylish or creative holiday greetings. I was a little disappointed with the lack of customization there was but I think I have a am a little more tech savvy than my grandmother. However, the main goal of smartecard is to raise money for charitable organizations. See, everytime you make a $1 donation to one of their many pre-approved charities you gain 1 credit to send 1 e-card. So not only are you donating to a worth cause but you are saving the environment too by sending an online greeting card. There are a few glitches in the site but hopefully over time they will iron those out and it will be a great tool to raise money for a good cause.

Here is our holiday greeting. I received several emails from family and friends that loved the pictures we sent them.

I received the feature product, the opinions expressed in this post are my own and not influenced by the company.

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Great Giveaway Links

Every Thursday The B Keeps Us Honest offers a place to promote your giveaways, Great Giveaway Links. Be sure to link directly to your giveaway and not your homepage. Links that are not directed to the giveaway will be deleted.

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Watching my Weight with the Zero Scale

The past few months I've been trying to really watch my diet and exercise more. See both of my parents and grandmother have diabetes and I know that I'll be very likely to get it if I don't watch myself. I have a hard time losing weight from my pregnancies so I have to be very conscious about it. But I really dread getting on the scale.

I know how much I weight and I hate being reminded of it which is why I really like the Zero Scale. The Zero Scale helps me to stay focused on the amount of weight I've lost rather than the total amount I weigh. The Zero scale is unique in that it has settings for different users so Joe and I can track our weight loss and gain separately but on the same scale. The Zero Scale allows me to keep track of my weight loss and gain on a daily basis. It secretly stores my initial weight and each time thereafter it only tells me the difference in weight gain or loss. It also tracks the number of days I've been tracking my weight and the last time I checked in. But just in case I want to know how much I actually weight there is a setting that lets me see my total weight.

Note the picture above. It says that in the last 17 days I've lost 6.2lbs.  Not bad. It also tells me how much weight I've lost or gained since the last time I weighed myself. I keep it in my bathroom so I can weigh myself every few days before I shower. It keeps me motivated to see the amount lost instead of my total weight. Plus, I don't have to do the math in my head to figure out if I'm doing well or chart my weight to remember what I weighed 3 weeks ago. Now I can focus on manageable increments and not get bogged down with that total number. I honestly don't mind weighing myself anymore.

Connect: Like the ZeroScale on Facebook

I received the feature product, the opinions expressed in this post are my own and not influenced by the company.

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Under the Weather

All the Liebs are sick this week. Both Joe and I have pink eye. Jude and Noah have colds. I also have a virus complete with chills, fever and sore throat. We are on the mend but laying pretty low in the time being. I'll eventually get around to posting some new stuff but for now I'm spending most of days laying in bed or cuddling a sick baby.

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My Emergency Trip to the Dentist

So I spent my Friday sitting in a dentist chair. Luckily, it was a really comfortable dentist chair with massage and heat.

For the past few weeks I've had some on and off tooth pain. So I went to the dentist last week, a dentist that was recommended to us by one of Joe's co-workers. Well, instead of addressing my complaint of tooth pain they just did a routine cleaning, some X-rays and said the soonest they could do a filling was the end of December. So I went home pretty bummed and still in pain. I thought I might be able to ride it out until last night.

The boys have been sick this week and I've caught their cold. My lack of sleep plus the sinus congestion just aggravated my already sore tooth. Most of last night I spent awake and in pain. I took some Aleve, used Anbesol and applied ice to my face and nothing provided any comfort. I got a little rest sitting almost straight up but between the pain and the sick, fussy baby I was pretty worn out. I spent my awake time looking up dentists, turns out most of them are closed on friday. I found a few "emergency" dental places that claimed to be open but when I called I discovered they were actually closed on fridays. So this morning I called a place that, even though they were booked, would see me.

I went in at 11:30 knowing I'd have to wait a bit as they worked around their regular patients to see me. The dentist office was amazing, most beautiful dentist office I've seen. It looked like a ski lodge. See, this is the lobby.

I was there for almost 4 hours but I don't care because I just want my tooth to feel better. Plus the place was so nice. They had heated, massage patient chairs. A jelly fish tank in my exam room and my own personal tv above my chair. 

So I watched 4 hours of HGTV. Turns out one of my molars decided to crack in half. So they had to do a temporary crown and I have to go back after Christmas to get my permanent crown. It all cost a pretty penny, even with insurance. But remember that insurance money we got back from Noah's birth... well now we know what to do with it. funny how that works.

I'm currently can't feel my face but I'm ok with that. If I never have to experience the pain I felt last night it will be too soon. (And I had 2 babies naturally)

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Sad Sick Baby = One Tired Mama

Our family is passing around a cold and it's no fun for anyone, especially me. Last week Jude was Mr. Sicky and while it briefly slowed him down he usually just gets mean when he is sick. He hurts and gets mad about it. So his regular 3-year-old tantrums where off the charts. Thankfully, he was only sick for a few days and the tantrums are fewer.

 This baby is sick... I know he looks so happy and cute... but he's sick.

Then a few days ago baby Noah caught the cold and has been so pitiful. Tuesday night he woke up every 30 minutes then finally fell asleep about 5 am. I got about 2 hours of sleep. He slept most of the day yesterday. I was exhausted but had to care for Jude. I planned to go to bed early last night but Noah had other plans. He was super fussy and didn't fall asleep until after midnight. So last night we both slept for about 4 hours before he got stuffy and upset. So I've been up since about 4 am. I finally got him back to sleep at 7am just in time for Jude to wake up. So goes the life of a mom.

Alas, all of this craziness has resulted in my catching this cold. However, there is relief in sight. Joe is taking the day off tomorrow. So while I will still be responsible for caring for Noah, Joe can keep Jude occupied while I snuggle up with the baby and sleep in my warm, cozy bed. Motherhood has it's perks.

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Great Giveaway Links

Every Thursday The B Keeps Us Honest offers a place to promote your giveaways, Great Giveaway Links. Be sure to link directly to your giveaway and not your homepage. Links that are not directed to the giveaway will be deleted.

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How Do You Feed A Hungry Giant Childrens Book Review

Jude likes books a lot but he really LOVES pop-up/interactive books like HOW DO YOU FEED A HUNGRY GIANT by Caitlin Freedman and illustrated by Shaw Nielson. This is a fun book about a little boy named Oscar that befriends a hungry giant.

The story is about a little boy helping to feed a lonely, hungry giant he finds sitting in his backyard. Oscar has a big heart and so does his mother...and at no point are they scared by the giant’s size. I used this story and Oscar’s instinct to help to talk to my kids about the opportunities they have in their day to help those around them. I also talked to them about thinking a little bigger...yes, you can help the boy in your class pour his milk AND you can help a boy you have never met by donating a can of food. If you are lucky enough to have what you need then you have a responsibility to help those that don’t. 

- Author Caitlin Freedman

I really love this story, the way in which this book is written really sounds like a child is telling you the story. It's such a sweet story about a boy who wants to help out his new friend. Oscar's dog, Cowgirl adds a bit of humor with her inner-dog-monologue. Also, the interactive parts of the book is very creative. I won't spoil it for you. You should just go ahead and get the book to find out how it ends. This really is a fun book that provides a great way for parents to address a sometimes difficult topic. 

And just in case you encounter a hungry giant here is a recipe for a Pizza-size Chocolate Chip Cookie.

Pizza-Size  Chocolate Chip Cookie
Vegetable Oil
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed light brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 large eggs, at room temperature
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup peanut butter chips or white chocolate chips

1. Preheat the oven to 375°F. Grease a 14-inch pizza pan with vegetable oil and set it aside.
2. Sift the flour, baking soda, and salt together into a large mixing bowl.
3. In another mixing bowl, beat the butter, both sugars, and vanilla together until fluffy. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition.
4. Slowly add the egg mixture to the flour mixture, beating until well blended.
5. Stir in the chocolate and peanut butter chips.
6. Spread the dough in the prepared pizza pan, pulling it
and folding over the edges to make a rim.
7. Bake until lightly browned, 20 to 25 minutes.
8. Let the cookie cool slightly and then cut it into wedges to serve.  

I received the feature product, the opinions expressed in this post are my own and not influenced by the company. 

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Happy Hallmark Christmas

Jude has been asking for a Star Wars Christmas tree for weeks now. I was happy to let him know that I could totally make that happen. As many of you know Joe is a Star Wars fanatic, therefore over 80% of the ornaments on our Christmas tree are Hallmark Star Wars Ornaments. Here are a few of our favorite Hallmark Ornaments...

We are slightly addicted to Hallmark Keepsake Ornaments. Now that our family is growing we've started the tradition of getting a new ornament each year that defines our family. 

When Jude was born in 2008 we got the Very Hungry Caterpillar ornament. I think it might be one of my favorites

Last year we got the In The Groove - Magic Tapper Snoopy Ornament. Jude loves Peanuts and he just adores this ornament. This year, Hallmark sent us the 'Twas the Month Before Christmas Count Down Ornament. Each day you turn the dial on the bottom to the current date and a new bit of story about the preparation for Christmas is narrated. It's a great way to build excitement for the coming holiday. (Like kids need help getting excited for Christmas.)

Hallmark also sent us a Storybook Buddy, Watson. Storybook Buddies are awesome, they are plush interactive animals that chime in as you and your little one read key phrases from the coordinating book. Jude loves Watson and his book, The Case of Sneaky Stealer. I also like Watson, he's cute and has fun commentary that compliments the story in the book. Watson does have a little trouble understanding my 3 year old but he does very well recognizing the key phrases when I say them. Hallmark also has a special Christmas Storybook Buddy, Jingle the Husky Pup.

 

SAVE: 20% off personalized greetings (minimum purchase $20) at www.hallmark.com. Use the code: SOCIAL20 (valid 11/1/11 – 1/1/12)
 
GIVEAWAY 

Win - One lucky reader will win the same Hallmark products I reviewed. 
'Twas the Month Before Christmas Ornament
StoryBook Buddies and Book

How to Win - Maximize your chances of winning. Leave a separate comment for each entry. Only valid after you complete the first mandatory entry:

Mandatory Entry

Leave a comment telling me your favorite ornament on your Christmas tree.

Extra Entries:

• Follow @bkeepsushonest on Twitter.
• Tweet this (can be done daily): "#Win a Hallmark Ornament and Storybook Buddy via @bkeepsushonest 12/15 http://tinyurl.com/7ey2ctf #giveaway"

Please leave a valid email in the comments if your Blogger profile is private so that I can contact you if you win. Giveaway ends 12.15 at 11:59pm EST. Winner will be notified by email and has 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be chosen. See giveaway rules for more information.

I received the feature products free from Hallmark. However, the opinions expressed in this post are my own and not influenced by the company.

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Stocking Stuffer for Preschool Kids: Infantion HappiTaps iPhone App & Toy

Jude loves to play with my iPhone but he's only allowed to play with it on special occasions so I try to make it a big deal. I love that there are so many educational games for kids available on the iPhone. Companies like Infantino realize the need for fun and educational games created specifically for kids on the iPhone and that's why they created HappiTaps.



HappiTaps turns your smartphone into a huggable, interactive toy for young children. Simply place your phone into the plush bear shaped case, download the HappiTaps app and your kids will experience an interactive, lovable companion.


I downloaded the app and put my iPhone into the bear case and Jude was completely wowed. He sat mesmerized for almost an hour play with all of the different features of Beary Happi. His favorite feature of the app was feeding Beary. I really like that you can put Beary to sleep by laying him down and wake him up by picking him up, it really is a uniquely interactive toy. There are a lot of free features to the app but there are several upgrade that cost money but are still relatively inexpensive. I like that the Bear case gives my phone a bit of added protection while Jude is playing with it, I fear he will break my phone while he is playing with it so this is a great way to easy my worries.

I think the HappiTaps app and Beary Happi case would make for a wonderful stocking stuffer for any preschool kid. Not only do they get to play with the coolest new interactive toy but they get to play with mama or dada's iPhone! 


Buy: You can purchase the HappiTaps Beary Happy case online and download the HappiTaps app in the iTunes store.


I wrote this review while participating in a campaign by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of Infantino HappiTaps and received a product sample to facilitate my review and a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.

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Relief from your Migraine with Excedrin Migraine

Did you know that about 12% of American adults suffer from migraines. Migraines can be debilitating and as a busy mom of 2 young children I can't afford to be out of commission. I've suffered from migraines several times in my adult life and I can tell you they are no fun.

Migraines can be triggered by various elements that may differ from person to person. Some of the most common causes of migraines include diet and stress. Most doctors will recommend you keep a migraine diary to keep track of potential triggers and patterns related to your migraines. I think most of my migraines are a combination of stress and diet and maybe occasionally weather changes. I tend to have more migraines in the fall especially when I eat too many sugars or carbohydrates. However, what triggers your migraines may be vastly different than what triggers mine.

If you suffer from migraines here a few tips from Excedrin that may help prevent or alleviate migraines.

• Keep a Migraine Diary. Track the food you eat when migraines occur, duration of migraines, type of pain, amount of sleep, etc. 
• Aerobic exercise has been shown to make an appreciable difference in reducing migraines and promoting a general sense of well-being. Even if you walk only 15 to 20 minutes.
  
• Drinking plenty of water will help you keep hydrated and can help prevent the frequency of migraine incidents.
• When migraine pain does set in, consider finding a quiet place to rest, applying a cool compress to the back of your neck.
• Talk with your doctor about an over-the-counter pain reliever like Excedrin® Migraine, which starts to relieve migraine pain in 30 minutes.
• More tips from Excedrin to prevent and treat migraines

I've found when I take preventative measure like drink plenty of water, get exercise and eat healthy the number of migraines I get is drastically reduced. But on those occasions when I do get them I find that a simple over-the-counter pain reliever like Excedrin Migraine offers quick relief to help get be back taking care of my family.

If you suffer from migraines try out the tips listed above and most importantly see your doctor to learn if a product like Excedrin Migraine might be right for you. 

LEARN

Learn more about migraines and Excedrin Migraine on the Excedrine Migraine Facebook page.

SAVE:

Use this Excedrin Coupon to save $1 off your purchase

GIVEAWAY 

Win - Three lucky readers will win a Excedrin Migraine Relaxation Basket. 

Gift Basket includes:

• A therapeutic neck wrap that can be heated or frozen
• Swarovski Crystal Ear Buds to listen to relaxing music
• A soothing gel eye mask
• $15 iTunes gift card to purchase relaxing tunes
• $50 American Express gift card for additional stress-free needs
• Foot massager
• Back massager

How to Win - Maximize your chances of winning. Leave a separate comment for each entry. Only valid after you complete the first mandatory entry:

Mandatory Entry

Leave a comment telling if you or someone you know suffer from migraines AND how you relieve or prevent migraines.

Extra Entries:

• Follow @bkeepsushonest on Twitter.
• Tweet this (can be done daily): "#Win an Excedrin Migraine Relaxation Basket via @bkeepsushonest 12/13 http://tinyurl.com/c4jp3zv #giveaway"

Please leave a valid email in the comments if your Blogger profile is private so that I can contact you if you win. Giveaway ends 12.13 at 11:59pm EST. Winner will be notified by email and has 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be chosen. See giveaway rules for more information.

This is a sponsored post. Migraine relief and relaxation kit were provided by Novartis Consumer Healthcare, the makers of Excedrin® Migraine; my journey for a migraine free experience is my own.

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Holiday Christmas Cards with Tiny Prints

On Saturday we had our family photos taken, specifically with Christmas Cards in mind. I love photo Christmas Cards. What I think makes a great photo Christmas Card is a picture that captures the life and personality of your family and a card design to match.

I always look to Tiny Prints for not only great card designs but photo inspiration. For instance I love the Elfish Joy card design but the picture gives it that extra wow factor.

The card and photo designs are inspiring me to be more creative with my photographs and Christmas giving. I love it! The pictures we took over the weekend are fun, laid back, outdoor pictures of the boys. I'm looking for a great design to compliment the pictures. I think I'm leaning toward one of these designs.

Tiny Prints has a great variety of designs and a great site that allows you to filter out your specifications very easily. I really love the Favorites feature at the bottom of the page which allows you to bookmark your favorite designs so you can easily go back and find them to make your final decision. 

I'm really looking forward to using the pictures we just had taken for our Christmas cards this year. I know that Tiny Prints will do a great job and our family and friends are sure to love the cards.

I received the featured product however, the opinions expressed in this post are my own and not influenced by the company.

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Raising a Spirited Child: Personality vs Discipline

Before I had kids I thought I would be a great discipliner of my children. I would say NO and they would have a great fear and respect for me and immediately listen and obey. HAHAHA. Oh boy, I was soooo wrong. Now when I tell Jude NO he looks at me and laughs. I thought that maybe my stern face wasn't scary enough but then I remembered I look like my dad and everyone that sees my dad immediately trembles. (That's just how he looks, he's really a nice guy.)

What is it about disciplining your own child that can be so difficult?

As Jude's personality started to develop Joe and I realized that we were in for a ride. While both Joe and I are very laid-back, introverted people Jude is the complete opposite. He demands attention and has never met a stranger. He is the quintessential "spirited" child.

For awhile Joe and I struggled to wrangle this crazy child as we learned which discipline techniques do and do not work for him. We are finally starting to make advances with him but this journey has been challenging. Challenging to the point where I dreaded the thought of taking him out in public. I was convinced we didn't get invited to events because of Jude. I began to compare myself to other mothers and compare Jude to their children. I would secretly pray that moms with easy going children would be "blessed" with a "spirited" child so they would understand how I felt. I felt that every time we went somewhere people were judging me and assuming that my wild child was the result of not enough discipline. (I felt like I was being judged because before I had kids I was a judge.) I cried and prayed and asked God why. Why was I blessed with a "spirited" child? 

I decided that he needed MORE discipline and STRONGER punishments but the more I pushed, the harder he pushed back. After several months of complete turmoil I wanted to call it quits. I threw in the towel and declared that was his personality and there was NOTHING we could do about it. But I knew in my heart that he needed to be discipline, he longed for it and I needed to find that secret formula that worked for him. So I decided to do wipe the slate clean and start from scratch. I decided to play opposite day. I met his tantrums with soft quiet voices. I tried to speak peacefully even when I was enraged. I got down on his level, made him look me in the eye and spoke loving words of discipline to him and his reaction was astounding. He was calmed and receptive to my quietness. Before I'd been trying to strong-arm him, force my will upon him but he is a unique individual that needs loads of encouragement. While he may be wild and crazy he has a tender little heart. The results of positive praise were amazingly different than when we tried to sternly rebuke him. 

We still use stern voices when needed but most of the time he just needs a little encouragement. Encouragement to do the right thing. Encouragement to accept our discipline. So I've become his biggest cheerleader. I praise him when he does what's right. To often we only rebuke for what is done wrong and don't give credit when things are done right. I encourage him to apologize, ask for forgiveness and make things right when he's done wrong. I encourage him that he can do the right thing and that he knows how.

But I'm learning. I'm learning how to teach my "spirited" child to behave appropriately, to discipline him according to his needs. I'm learning that what works for other moms won't always work for us. I'm learning to NOT compare myself to other moms and NOT compare Jude to other kids. I'm learning that it's OK for my son to be a crazy boy sometimes. I'm learning that his personality is beautiful and is what makes him so very special, I wouldn't want him any other way. His energy and spirit are vibrate. He's a flame that refuses to be put out. 


While we still have difficult days I wouldn't trade him for an "easy-going" child in a million years. I love being the parent of a "spirited" child. (If I tell you differently I'm just stressed out.)

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